What exactly am I buying?

You are purchasing a hilarious, professionally written and produced song based entirely on the embarrassing "dirt" you provide. Our veteran comedy writers craft a track that is studio-quality and ready to go viral. You get a unique piece of content that is 100% custom, funny, and unforgettable.

How long does it take to get my song?

We move fast because great roasts can’t wait!

• Our standard turnaround is about 1 hour from payment (per song).

• We offer Rush Options for last-minute party surprises or unexpected roast opportunities. Just reach out or add a note at the end of your song purchase and we'll reply. 

What are the pricing options?

We offer three simple packages:

• 1 custom song – $20 

• 3 custom songs – $50

• 7 custom songs – $99

Most people prefer the 3 song package to spread some extra love, have fun, and save some money. I see it's especially true around the holidays for easy gift giving. The bundles are great if you know you’ll want songs for multiple people or occasions.
Regardless of the package, every song receives professional mixing and mastering to ensure the quality is worthy of a viral TikTok or a main stage sound system.

'I’m not good with technology. Will I be able to do this?'

Absolutely. If you can open a text message, you can deliver the roast.

• The entire process is managed via simple forms.

• You receive the final song file (MP3) ready to share immediately.

• No apps, no complex downloads, no technical skills required.

'How do I tell you what to put in the song?'

You spill the beans! You'll fill out a fun, detailed form where you provide all the necessary dirt. We need the specifics that only a friend would know:

• Their most embarrassing fails and life decisions.

• The inside jokes that need to be immortalized in song.

• Physical attributes (optional, but requested for the best roast).

• Any topics that are strictly off-limits (we respect boundaries!).

'How will I receive the song?'

I’ll send your song to you by email as:

• A streaming link you can click and play

• An MP3 file you can download, save, or forward
   

This file is optimized for:

• Group Chat Sharing (WhatsApp, iMessage)

• Streaming (Spotify, Apple Music uploads available upon request)

• Put it on a speaker at a party or in the car with a friend (hahahahahah, this is the best)

'Can I use the song in a video or slideshow?'

Yes. You’re welcome to use the song for personal things like:

• Roast compilations and highlights videos.

• TikTok and Instagram Reels where the recipient is reacting (tag @freshtakeusa (Tiktok) or @freshtakewi (Instagram) for a free future song. We'll reach out with details after you tag us).

• A surprise slideshow presentation at their birthday party.
   

If you want to use it for anything commercial (ads, business use, etc.), just reach out and we can talk.

'What if I don't like the song?'

My goal is that you love it. If something feels off (name pronunciation, wrong detail, or the vibe is way off):

• You can reply to my email with what you’d like adjusted

• I’ll do a reasonable round of edits to fix big issues
   

If it’s truly not a fit after that, we’ll talk and make it right on a case-by-case basis. It's my goal for you to be happy with your song, especially when it's a gift!

'What if you don't deliver within a day?'

My target is deliver your song 1-hour from payment. In rare cases (high demand, time zone, or very complex requests), it might take a bit longer but never more than 1 day, ever. 

If you request an expedited song, I'll respond whether it's possible.

Don't worry, I got you!

'Can I order songs for more than one person at a time?'

Totally! If you are roasting a couple, siblings, or an entire friend group, just combine their best "dirt" into the submission form. You can also order multiple songs simultaneously for different recipients. That’s what the 3-song and 7-song bundles are for.

'How mean can I make the song?'

We operate under the "Savage, But Still Friends" Guarantee. We ensure the song is sharp, clever, and genuinely funny—not genuinely hurtful or abusive. We specialize in punchlines that land, not lines stirring up permanent damage.

• We avoid content that is illegal, overtly harmful, or violates our terms of service.

• You set the boundaries in the submission form. We will work within them to deliver the funniest song possible.